Finding Grace

I woke up this morning just before 7AM. As I got out of bed, I leaned over and kissed Joe on the forehead as he slept and headed into the kitchen to brew a cup of coffee, before settling down on the couch for my talk with Jesus.

The day seemed normal just like any other day. After breakfast, I got dressed and settled down at my desk, ready to take on the work for the day. About an hour into my work, I got a strange email from my work’s HR representative. She received a letter, that was in my name, requesting unemployment benefits. I was so confused as I stared at the letter that she forwarded me. I still work at the company, I thought to myself. After several email correspondences back and forth, I stared at the five words glaring back at me on my screen – “Your identity has been stolen”.

Immediately my heart began to race and the panic startled to bubble up. I had heard of horror stories from friends who had had their identity stolen and everything that they went through sounded like an absolute nightmare. This is not how I wanted my day to go. For the better part of the morning and early afternoon, I was on the phone with my bank and several government and credit agencies. I was filling out fraud reports and putting security measures in place. By 2PM, I was able to conclude that the only damage done was the request for unemployment benefits. Whew, what a relief, I thought to myself.

Later that evening, as Joe and I sat down for dinner, we recapped the day. Joe asked if I had decided to file a police report regarding the incident of my stolen identity. I informed him that I had decided not to since no harm had been done. I continued on sharing with him how this individual was weighing heavy on my heart and that I felt that we needed to pray for them. Joe looked at me rather perplexed. I went on to explain that I could not imagine feeling so desperate in life that the only option that seemed available was to steal someone’s identity just to get unemployment benefits. I mean it’s not like the individual stole my information to apply for a loan or a credit card. Quickly we bowed our heads and prayed. I asked our Lord to help the individual with any struggles they were facing and that He please provide them with His mercy and grace.

Before heading to bed, I sat down to journal about my day. As I wrote down all the things that I was grateful for, I of course wrote down how grateful I was that nothing worse had happened with the identity theft. I was truly feeling blessed by God’s protection. Then there it was, a small whisper that asked me “Would you have still felt blessed if it was worse? Would you have prayed and shown grace for the individual if they had stolen everything?”

I sat in silence for a while as I let those questions sit in my heart. Thought after thought floated around in my head. Would I have been full of grace or would I have allowed anger to fill me? Would I have still prayed for someone else despite the wrongdoing they did to me?

I took a couple sips of my tea and then bowed my head, asking God to forgive me and to give me a change of heart, because my answer to the questions was “probably not”. Had the individual wiped out my bank accounts or taken a large loan out in my name, I do not believe I would have been so forgiving. Joe and I had just bought a house and the money we had aside was for small repairs and some needed upgrades. I would have definitely been panicked about the situation and to be honest, I most likely would have let anger settle in, not caring why the individual did what they did. I would have wanted them to be prosecuted and I would have wanted my money back.

The fact that I was okay to show grace when I truly was not affected but was unsure if I could find that same amount of grace if I was affected in worldly matters, saddened my heart deeply. Was I truly ready to throw my empathy for someone else and their situation out the window just because I would have been made a little uncomfortable?

As I continued to sit in silence, I reflected on the words in Luke 6:35-36, where we are instructed to love our enemies, to not expect anything in return and most of all, we are to be merciful, just as God is merciful to us. This does not mean that we are not to put limits on our love or decide when someone should or should not receive mercy and grace.

As I took another sip of tea, I closed my eyes and allowed the warmth of it to fill my body. I then asked God if He would continue to warm my heart so that I could show love to everyone, despite the circumstances. I prayed that He would help me cultivate a mindset of grace and forgiveness, and that He would help me demonstrate these qualities in all situations, regardless of the challenges involved. I took the last sip of my tea and closed my journal, holding it close to my heart. Looking up, I thanked God for His continual mercy, grace and forgiveness, and for the unconditional love He has for me, that He took the time to teach me such an important and valuable lesson.

Can you think of a time when you were shown grace? How did it make you feel? How about a situation where you were affected so deeply that you just did not want to show grace? What challenges did you face and how were you able to overcome them? Please share in the comments.