Love Thy Neighbor

The other day, Joe and I headed out to run an errand. The sun was shining brightly, and the spring breeze carried the scent of flowers in bloom. It was the kind of day that reminded us why we chose to live here. Wanting to make the most of the beautiful weather, we decided to leave our dogs in the fenced backyard so they could enjoy the sunshine and fresh air while we were gone. We expected to be out for just an hour—enough time to grab a few essentials and return. But as errands often go, one stop turned into three or four, and our quick trip stretched into the better part of an afternoon.

As we started driving back home, Joe’s phone buzzed with a message. It was from one of our neighbors. The text was brief but carried a significant weight: “We need to talk.” Attached to it was a link to the county ordinance regarding dog barking. I felt my stomach drop. Being new to the neighborhood, the last thing I wanted was to stir up trouble. I had hoped our transition into this community would be smooth, filled with welcoming smiles and friendly conversations. But now, it seemed we had inadvertently stepped on someone’s toes.

Joe, always the calm and level-headed one, decided to walk over to the neighbor’s house to apologize in person. Meanwhile, I stayed back to bring the dogs inside. As I stepped out the front door, I caught sight of Joe and our neighbor in his front yard. I immediately froze in shock. Our neighbor was yelling at Joe, with a voice full of anger. Joe stood there composed, hands in his pockets, nodding, listening, apologizing even as the man’s words grew louder and harsher.

I felt a mix of emotions—but mostly anger and defensiveness. I wanted to rush over and protect Joe from the unkindness. To let our neighbor know that no one deserves to be spoken to with such hatred and that we had not left the dogs out with malicious intent. As the feeling bubbled up inside me, Joe caught sight of me and waved me off, letting me know to let him handle the situation.

After a few minutes, our neighbor stormed off into his house and Joe returned with his head hanging down like a broken-hearted child. Joe recounted the exchange telling me that despite our apology our neighbor believed that we just did not care whether our dogs barked or not. Immediately my thoughts began racing. How could he think we did not care? We took the time to stop by and talk with him about it. We apologized and told him we would take action? Did he really believe we did not care?

As Joe and I sat down to reflect on what had happened, a deeper question emerged: How do we navigate conflict with grace, especially when emotions run high? How do we not let emotions of anger seep into our hearts? For us, this wasn’t just about the dogs. It was about building relationships in our new community, about showing respect and care not only for those in our immediate circle but for those around us as well.

After this incident, we made a few adjustments to ensure our dogs wouldn’t cause further disturbances. We made a plan to invest in additional training to curb any excessive barking, and we spent more time outside on our deck so we could reassure the dogs that what was on the other side of the fence was not a threat.

A few days later, when Joe saw our neighbor, he politely told him that we were trying. Our neighbor acknowledged that he had noticed that we did in fact care and that he was sorry for his angry outburst. We even noticed that our neighbor also no longer allowed his dog to bark excessively, despite the fact that we never mentioned it.

In the end, this experience wasn’t just about the dogs or the ordinance. It was about learning to love thy neighbor, even when it’s not easy. It was about turning to God for wisdom and guidance – leaning on Him to bring you peace during a tumultuous time and not allowing anger or bitterness to seep into your heart. It reminded us that grace and understanding can turn even the most uncomfortable situations into opportunities for growth and connection.

How do you usually react when faced with conflict? Do you address it calmly or find it challenging to manage your emotions? How do you navigate moments when others express anger or frustration toward you? Do you find it easy to respond with grace, or does defensiveness take over? In what ways do you seek wisdom or guidance during challenging interpersonal situations? Do you turn to faith, personal reflection, or external support? Please share in the comments.