An Audit of My Life

The other day at church, our pastor’s message was based on “The Parable of the Talents”. At the end of the service, he asked all of us one very profound question… “What would it look like if God audited your life?” I remember several years ago I had thought what a performance review of my life would look like but an audit was something entirely different. An audit looks at every single detail of your life, examining it, and making sure that everything lines up as it is supposed to, and in this case, lines up to God’s will.

As I pondered our pastor’s question, I could envision myself sitting with God. He was on his throne and I was sitting in a small wooden chair, the kind you would find in a kindergartener’s room. In front of Him, files upon files were spread out across a massive, wooden desk. Each file documented various parts of my life, including my actions, thoughts, relationships, and intentions. To the left and to the right off Him were smaller wooden tables that stood completely empty. The left handed table represented my weaknesses and His judgement, while the right handed table represented my strengths and His mercy.

In my mind, I picked up the first file labeled “Relationships.” Quickly I examined my relationships with Joe, family, friends, and strangers. I immediately noted that I was loving, kind, caring and supportive. But as I dug deeper, I realized that there were times that I fell short. I let impatience, anger, judgment or pride cloud my behavior. Like the one servant in the parable, I was taking the love that God had given me and buried it under a rock. This thought saddened my heart. I also noticed in my file that there were moments when I had genuine connections with strangers but there were also times when I missed opportunities to be bold.

Not sure if I wanted the audit to continue, I hesitantly picked up the file labeled “Actions.” This file was a little thicker than the “Relationships” file. Inside was every deed I had done over the years. I thought of my acts of generosity and service, and how I have helped others and contributed to my church community. I felt good that that I was using my talents and blessing the way God had intended me to. I did, however, notice that I still had some areas of my life that showed weakness and one, surprisingly, was selfishness. While I am a huge giver in life, I noticed that I do not give up my time freely. I still treat it as a precious commodity and I try to control what happens every minute of the day. This made me reflect on how many moments and opportunities I may have missed by not going with the flow of things.

Next, with a rather heavy head and heart, I picked up the file labeled “Thoughts and Intentions”. Everything in this file was bold and large print, revealing everything about me. As I searched the depth of my mind and heart, I could see my innermost thoughts and motivations. I saw dreams that I cherished, opportunities that I wanted to pursue, and aspirations that I wanted to accomplish for God’s Kingdom. I could see the moments in my life where I had and have faith and hope. But I also saw the times when I let fear and doubt control me and how I still let negative thoughts hold me back from doing more for God’s glory.

As I closed the files and looked at the remaining ones, I felt a mixture of emotions. I felt naked and vulnerable knowing that every aspect of my life would someday be laid out before my Heavenly Father. I felt concerned as I wondered which table would my files would end up on. I felt a sense of renewed hope knowing that the Spirit had put our pastor’s message on my heart. I knew that this message was not about judgment or condemnation, but an opportunity for me to understand and grow. An opportunity to guide me, to help me realign my life with His will.

As I reflected more on our pastor’s question, I felt a restored sense of purpose, a commitment to living my life in a way that would honor God and align with His will. I was thankful that the Holy Spirit provided me a chance to see my life through God’s eyes, to understand His perspective and to embrace His guidance. I was thankful that I know fully understood that every detail matters, and that with God’s guidance, I can strive to live a life of love, service, and faithfulness. That through His love and what He has entrusted me with, I can be the servant that He has called me to be!

How do you think your life would look if God audited it today? Which aspects of your life would you want to change to better align with God’s will? How can you strive to be the servant that God has called you to be? Please share in the comments.